What is this journey teaching me?

22/9/23

I’m kind of over this acute grief phase, I wont lie. I’m over feeling exhausted and depleted no matter how much sleep I get, I’m over my brain not working properly, I’m over getting instantly overstimulated and overwhelmed to the point I can feel the cortisol of fight or flight running through my body, I’m over feeling so sad/depressed/negative all the time. I’m over reliving the traumatic moments. It’s like being stuck in quicksand and you just can’t get out. I have tiny snippets of feeling positive, hopeful, happy, then the darkness comes back, and honestly it’s just fucking annoying. Like obviously I will grieve for and miss Dan – forever, I just want my body and mind back, grief has hijacked it.