We must become more grief literate as a society!

8/11/23

I posted my post today from a few weeks ago saying I felt more steady, grounded & able to handle what life throws at me, clearly life heard me cos it then went BAM here’s a nasty virus to take ALL of you out at the SAME TIME. Yay. Being a Widow is EXTREMELY HARD when both kids and me are sick. Like I cant even put it into words hard. How do I meet both kids needs at the same time? I cant. How do I keep up with the basic housework and make us all 3 meals plus snacks a day? I cant. How do I look after myself? I cant. Honestly its impossible. The grief hits really hard because Dan is not there, he’s not there to help me with all the night wakes and sickness at night, he’s not there to hold me as I cry with stress and anxiety because I worry about the kids, overwhelmed from so much intense shit going on, he’s not there to tell me he’s there to help and it will all be ok. I am not good at telling myself that shit, I try but I don’t believe myself. I have had to dig DEEP. The sad thing is also that none of my friends wants to help me, because they don’t want to get sick. And I get it, I do, but it also makes it so much harder and lonlier, because they still could have dropped some food at the door or come mowed my lawns, or is it ridiculous of me to wish my friends did that? I wouldn’t ever expect that if I had Dan, but when it’s just me and such young kids it would have helped me SO MUCH. If any widow friends are ever down and out with all of them sick I will ensure I do this for them 100%. Thankfully my old and got their own health issues parents DID risk getting sick and they took the kids Saturday and Sunday night. Saturday was my worst day and I was fucked, those two nights of sleep and calm helped me immensely to get better alongside a steady flow of supplements and tinctures, saunas and red light therapy, hydration etc. I’m not 100% but its just a cough here and there and a bit of snot, with my ever present sleep deprivation of course. Alyssa is the same as me shes back to normal bar a bit of a cough and snot occasionally, but Dylans virus turned into bronchitis and he’s been coughing INSANELY all day and all night, with about a minute in between coughing, I got so so stressed and worried because the coughing just WONT STOP.