This is our reality

I know most of you will know that Dan has passed. I’m still numb & in shock, thinking this isn’t real and I’ll see him again. What I do know is that i will be taking a break from online soon, once I have announced his Memorial/celebration of life to Family & Friends. This space will be the only space I will be online, until I feel like I want to re-surface again. This space is for me to safely express myself, to write away my pain, to process my feelings and emotions, because writing has ALWAYS been cathartic to me, and I haven’t done it enough as an adult. If you want to journey with me as I navigate this grief and new phase of my life, please do, please comment and interact with me, I know the people that will be with me on this journey are supposed to be here.

I want to let you know that I will be soon increasing the price of my substack to $12 a month. This will mean i get about $10 a month for anyone who subscribes. This will be my only income as I am obviously not able to work right now, unless of course you choose to buy my course. If you wanna stay, cool, If you wanna go cool, if you wanna just be a free subscriber so you still get the emails when I post and read a snippet, cool. honouring your choices.

As you know these posts are written in real-time but not shared in real-time to respect family and friends and ensuring everyone knows whats going on before i post. So, back to my story…..

5/6/23

Yet again, so much has happened in the past week or so I feel like I haven’t even had time to process it all. I have bene tirelessly working behind the scenes emailing news outlets, and trying to get our story out there because the more people that see it, the more likely it is for us to be able to raise the money we need to get Dan to Mexico. My friends have been doing the same, and finally we got somewhere, I don’t know if it was the way she worded it or the timing or both but for some reason when my friend shareed a post about us people started donating, and the more comments there were, the more people saw it and donated too - just little amounts, and that’s all it takes, MANY people donating little amounts. From there a lady who works for a clothing brand asked her to email her and long story short, she shared our story on her platform, which went off and has so far raised us over THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS! Incredible. My heart has warmed and swelled, but Also I have been experiencing so many other feelings and emotions around it, I haven’t been able to read all the comments, but hearing others journeys with cancer is so sad and it guts me just how common it is now, literally a new diagnosis every day, and we have to WAKE UP and do something about it. I also felt I don’t even know what kind of feelings around receiving so much love, kindness and money obviously (not that we have it yet, Give a Little pays out monthly) it’s new for me and I found my insecurities and self-doubt come up – do we deserve this? Am I worthy of this? Is it safe to receive this?