The Rollercoaster that Never Stops
I’m so tired and emotionally fucked today. Everything is sending me over the edge, I feel like I’m walking on eggshells. The weekends are so fucking hard, kids all day, with me having to do most of everything and it’s so full on. I’m the kind of person who really needs space, breaks and time to myself, but you can’t do that with kids. The weekends are where we really need the family and friend support around the house, to entertain the kids, people I can go to their places for playdates etc but it doesn’t exist.
Dans pain freaks me out, he talks about it being all over his chest and finding it hard to breathe sometimes, going into his shoulder and even morphine pills aren’t stopping the pain! There is no quick fix, we have to wait for tests and it fucking sux.
Slowly making progress on holistic health. There is a HUGE amount of info and basically neverending options for holistic stuff, I mean, he can’t take 50 supplements a day, so trying to figure out the best ones and dosage. Dan is on day 2 of a water fast before we start a juice fast together tomorrow for 7 days. This is only going to benefit both of us and help clear our systems out to start again from a clean place. I hope the hunger pains and detox symptoms aren’t too bad, because with the kids it could be horrific.
Our give a little is stalling a bit, I feel like the people that saw my first post donated then it’s just forgotten about, but this is our life. This a long-term thing – we essentially have no idea how long this will take to get rid of, and to a point we can both work again too. I’m hoping to be able to do one day a week early next year, but no pressure as I have to look after Dan, the kids and myself first.
The rollercoaster that never stops – Cancer.