The new "normal"
7/12/22
I’m still up and down, but overall feeling better this week than the past few. I’m trying to be as kind to myself as possible as this is so huge and it’s not something I can “get over” quickly. I wholeheartedly believe that Cancer does not have to be something to rule our lives, or be some kind of terminal illness. Societal conditioning makes Cancer seem like a terminal illness, it’s basically you’re gonna die. I don’t believe it. I don’t trust a medical system who will tell us - you have two options, chemo or surgery and that’s it. Despite it being fucking common knowledge now much herbs, vegetables, plants, sunshine, nature, exercise, mindfulness – all the things have an incredible impact on our mind, body and soul. Oh no. You won’t here our Oncologist suggest IV Vitamin C, or Red Light Therapy. I feel like we’re fighting a whole nothing fucked system after the past 3 years.
Anyway, what is driving me, what is keeping me focused and giving me a sense of purpose is of course Dan and the Kids, but getting him better holistically with things that will not further damage him! Of course every body is different, each Cancer is different, it’s a bit of an experiments right now, but soon we’ll find our flow, and honestly so far he’s taking some very common supplements like Vit C, Vit D etc and he’s been fasting for 4 days and his pain has already decreased!! That tells you something.
I’m still pretty overwhelmed by all my emotions and my huge to do list, but I refuse to pressure myself. The kids are super full on, Alyssa is getting up at 430am everyday and Dylan not long after and then BOOM, straight into fighting and screaming at each other constantly. For hours on hours everyday. It’s a lot.
We are still getting trickles of money donated to our Give a Little. I’ve had lovely friends grab a few things from the supermarket for me, mow the lawns and clean the house for me. So grateful for that. I’m joining Dan on a Juice Fast, it’s only day two and it’s such a mental game. I desperately want to eat, snack. Make a big ass healthy salad. I want to try get to at least 4 or 5 days, and if I do cave, I’ll only eat raw and steamed food, as this is the perfect opportunity for me to clear my system out too and it’s easier for Dan if I’m doing it with him as Juicing and Intermittent Fasting is highly recommended for Cancer patients.
We also went to WINZ today to try and get some financial support. We have to get Dans Dr to fill in some paperwork, but we’re hoping it can all get approved ASAP with no other issues, so we have money coming in each week. We have no savings left, so they are paying our rent this week, then we have to pay it back, and hopefully the benefit starts before next weeks rent payment. We have no idea how much we’ll get or if it will cover all our basics only, or not even that. Crossing our fingers!
Ok, back to more research!