Lolly Scrambles

23/01/23

Things have been an intense as fuck rollercoaster again, some beautiful times, but also some downright crippling and scary and HARD AF times. Dan’s pain is just all over the show and he’s super tired most days, especially by about 3-4pm he is just buggered and as you Mamas know that’s when the kids go cray and you’ve gotta cook dinner and do bath and bedtime etc. So, i’m bloody exhausted every night too, especially as the kids are still getting up at 5am everyday – WHEN WILL IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP!

Dan managed 8 days for his fast, he just couldn’t continue as he was starting to feel super weak and tired and needed to just rest 24/7 but you know, WE HAVE KIDS, so he had to stop. Then as soon as he starts eating his fucking pain gets worse, like WHY? He can’t just not eat ffs! It’s so damn hard to tell wtf is happening in his body, actually it’s not hard, its impossible. And poor Dan, every new pain or tweak sends him into a bit of a panic and spiral and i’ve gotta try not to panic and spiral so I can hold space for him and be strong for him to shift his mindset – cos after all, we don’t know if the pain is good or bad, we don’t know shit. And we probably never will. The hospital system isn’t interested in finding out any root causes, they just dish out painkillers like it’s a fucking lolly scramble.

No wonder people are addicted to painkillers and drugs, how can someone just be on painkillers longterm? What good is that really doing their body? Not fucking any I bet.

Dan thinks hes doing better, he even started experimenting and not using the morphine and just Panadol for pain, and for a few days it was ok, then we tried a new supplement and he had a bad reaction to it and had to take morphine for the immense pain it was causing.

I wish we could find someone who has had the exact same condition as him and found a way to manage the pain, and get rid of it naturally, it’s just fucking debilitating and horrific seeing him in such pain and discomfort every, fucking, day, and no break cos we have two young kids.

Dan enjoyed going to Spirit fest Friday, it was so nice to go to an event together without the kids, no rushing, just go with the flow, it was a bit new to him, but he was open to the experience, we had cacao, listened to talks, got energy healing, a head massage and tried a frequency wand, and I also took him to a sound healing journey which he enjoyed which was cool. It was nice to be around people with lots of healing energies, love and acceptance etc

The weekend was nice as we took the kids back to the festival Saturday arvo and visited a friend Sunday while the kids played, bit full on and tiring for both of us, now it’s time to recover when they are at care this week and get shit done.

Dans off to his healer and the osteo today as he still gets back pain after he injured has back badly a few years ago. We’re trying out a new modality this week, trying to space things out so he has space to  just rest when the kids aren’t home.

We are looking at booking our flights to the UK this week, I need to renew my passport and get one for the kids though eeek! Thanks god for the give a little donations cos that is what is funding all this, I’m a bit worried they will stop now though, we’ve barely had any January and the modalities, appointments and supplements are on-going and noooooot cheap.

His Dad has finally booked to come over which is nice for Dan to look forward too!