2/12/22
It fucking December, No sign of a Christmas tree in our house. Yesterday I was a mess, today I’m feeling ok. That’ll be life for awhile I guess. Dan went back into hospital and they did more tests and gave him stronger pain killers to bring home. The tests weren’t good. It appears to have spread to at least his liver, which means it’s advanced, either stage 3 or 4. He literally only got symptoms that anything was wrong 2 months ago, yet obviously this things has been growing for a long time.
I cried and cried and almost had a panic attack. We don’t know how far it’s spread. If it’s spread outside his lower abdomen area they said surgery is pointless and then what? Do they just give up and put a timer on his life? Do they say try chemo and hope for the best? I broke down. Hard.
All the thoughts returned of this isn’t fair, why him, why us, we have kids, he’s so young, he’s otherwise healthy, it makes no fucking sense.
Yet, here we are.
He spoke to his Family in the UK and everyone is just in shock.
It still feels like it’s not real cos he looks totally himself but inside is this dark disease.
We have A LOT to organize because I now need to be his fulltime Carer, we have to put EVERYTHING we can into ridding his body of Cancer. We are not waiting around for more tests, we are getting started NOW with all the holistic health things, but there’s A LOT of them and it’s going to take time to figure out where we can access services, how much they are, how often to do them etc
Dan has decided he will do chemo, alongside all the holistic health stuff.
We are just hoping it hasn’t spread far and they can do surgery – which will be major surgery.
In the meantime the sooner we get started with holistic health, the better, we need to get his body to a point that this disease just cannot survive at all. Miracles happen, I know they do.
There are people out there living with “incurable cancer” for 20 years, thriving. People have healed stage 4 cancer before. He CAN and WILL do this.
Right now I am in we can do this mode, I am researching and we have started today with a walk, yoga, mindfulness exercise, a smoothie full of supplements and nutrients from wholefoods, herbal tea, and well, that’s it so far as it’s 1pm. The kids are both at care so I am doing all the research so we can start going to appointments and getting supplements etc
Our lives have changed overnight, we have to change our entire lifestyle to live and breathe everything holistic health mind, body and soul and I’m ok with that. It’s imperative.