I’m dying and being re-born as the me that has always been in me but my ego has not allowed to be in charge
15/12/23
I’ve been massively struggling this week. I don’t do well on fuck all sleep and that is literally my reality every single day this week, I went away and got three blissfull nights of sleep (ok two the first night was shite), then straight back into the shittiest nights with both kids waking me each night and my insomnia in-between, in just 4 days of that I’ve managed to get so burn out I am now sick with a head cold. I’m doing my best to nip it in the bud of course and hoping it is minor and fucks off ASAP.
I’m gonna be brutally honest here because I know that by being vulnerable and sharing these deep and dark truths with you, you will feel safe to firstly, admit yours to yourself, then perhaps open up to those around you you feel safe with, because being human is complex. Its hard. Its dualistic. We are so conditioned to keep quiet about the “big” and “bad” feelings that we simply don’t have the capacity to even try and sit with them, let alone deal with them properly. Our egos are also supremely in control and it is a HARD pattern to break.
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