If we were more accepting of being human, imagine how much less shame people would feel?

18/06/24

It’s Dans Birthday tomorrow, he died the next day one year ago. I am doing better than I thought I would be, but I can feel all the emotions lying under the surface and I’m just trying to be aware of them and actually allow them to do what they want to do – not suppress or repress, not numb. I still do feel a bit odd sharing my pain of another man dying with Jamie – despite him saying he’s happy for me to talk about how I’m feeling etc. Life is just so busy right now too and I know for a lot of people they use the busyness as a way to not FEEL, but I don’t want to do that. My friend text me and asked me if I am doing anything for the next two days and I said I actually doing have anything planned. I was kind of going to just drop the kids to school/pre-school then go with how I felt, but then also I don’t wanna end up just moping around the house for 5 hours feeling sorry for myself. It’s a balance. I’ll figure it out as I want to allow myself time to just literally sit with my feelings, and also get life stuff done that needs to be done, which at the moment is a lot. I’m getting Dans food truck ready to be sold and that’s huge too. Gentle and slow is the aim of the game, then Friday I get to escape into nature for 3 days with Jamie which I am SO looking forward to!