I would rather do things I love, that bring me joy alone, than not at all
19/3/24
Honestly so much has happened in the 8 days since I last wrote. Like insane amounts of stuff that frankly I cant even remember and id be here all day sharing everything lol. I went to Auckland for the weekend to see Disturbed, it wasn’t like when I went to Queenstown as I know people in Auckland and it was just a whirlwind catching up with people, walking around the city, concert, getting to and from airport etc I took my laptop thinking i’d have some chill time to write etc but in reality I barely had any chill time, I mean obviously I was cruising and hanging with people, eating, shopping or whatever but but no full on hours and hours of chill time at the hotel. I didn’t sleep that well either so not rejuvenating which is annoying since its two weeks until I get a break from the kids overnight and that will be the last break I get for 6-7 weeks with Mum and Dad going overseas!
The concert was great, I met a girl who I did an online course with for a drink before hand, she was with her mum and sister, they were seated and I was floor so they went ahead of me to get a good seat and I chilled in the pub by myself, I went to walk to the arena and it was raining so I stopped by a chick sitting outside at a table under an umbrella and sparked up a convo and she said do you wanna walk there with us? So I did then hung out with them until we went in and then I lost them haha it was SO PACKED, barely any room on the floor but I managed to creep my way to the front right of the stage, except I had to leave twice to pee and the last time I gave up trying to get back as it was a huge mission and people are super shitty with you trying to get through the crowd so I stayed at the back for the encore, which was of course down with the sickness but I just sang and danced and rocked out on my own. People are like oh I could never do things alone and i’m like why? Like really why? Do you think in a dark arena of THOUSANDS of people they were like omg that chicks by herself what a loser. No one even fucking noticed me. No one cares they are all in their own world having fun and worrying about themselves. And I found friends along the way. I would rather do things I love, that bring me joy alone, than not at all. I’m not missing out cos my ego is worried about what strangers think of me!
I caught up with my mate Rachel and her daughter for the st paddys day parade, she’s Irish so was right into it haha. I caught up with another mate for lunch and there were others I didn’t get to see as I was there for such little time, oh well. My mate is a flight attendant and she told me dating apps change your location when you travel so I opened it up and I have like 1200 likes from guys in Auckland fucking crazy lol and no I didn’t meet anyone or do anything.
I got home after the kids were in bed and straight into a terrible night with Alyssa who has a bit of a cough/cold cos all the kids are bloody sick at her pre-school. Then the next morning the kids were so sweet ad cuddly cos they missed me and it was really beautiful, hard though as it was straight into crazy rush for school then school then I took Dylan to his grief counsellor after school and mum picked Alyssa up. The good news is she said that she doesn’t have any concerns about Dylan’s grief. She says he’s doing very normal things and is doing well and that I am doing all I can to support him, so that’s good. We are going to do the next session alone and have a good chat about practical tools for me to help the kids and also for Dylans school struggles as i’ve shared those with her. She said he will have no problem learning at school, he’s very clever and open and keen to learn, its more the social and emotional side of things she thinks he needs a bit of support with and I agree, as I don’t know the school well enough yet. I’ve talked to the principal and his teacher but unsure if we are on the right track yet as ever since he got pushed over he’s started getting separation anxiety each morning and is being silly during the day three times now, saying no, poking his tongue out, calling kids stupid etc like don’t get me wrong obviously I get that that is normal 5 year old kid behavior and he wont be the only one, I get its hard to be “good” all day at school and obviously hard for me cos then they become feral each arvo at home. But also I know that his behaviour is a reflection of his inner emotions, usually sadness or anger. He’s told me he feels overwhelmed by all the noise at connect time and I thinks its hard for him to adjust to and understand all the different and sometimes very nasty behaviour of others kids as he hasn’t experienced that and certainly not on the level of 900 kids! A work in progress I guess! I’m glad he likes his teacher tho as that is super important for him to feel safe.
Right that’s all for now, I am still catching up on laundry and housework since I got back so i’m gonna go tackle that and hopefully
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