I pick myself back up and I keep going
2/2/24
It’s Dylans third day of school today. He is doing amazing so far, I am SO proud of him. The first morning I dropped him off he was just so excited, he hung his bag up and put his lunchbox and drink bottle down, we had a brief look around and said hello to his Teacher, then I thought well he’s ok I’ll go, I said to him cuddle and kiss? And he goes no – cos obviously he’s a big school boy now! I said ok, high five? No. fist bump? Ok, so I got a fist bump and off I went. I was holding back my tears and emotions SO BAD. As I walked back to the car I saw a couple walking their daughter in, whos first day it obviously was too and fuck I lost it. Because I knew Dan would have been there that day walking our son in to his first day of school. The unfairness of it (for Dylan and Dan) just fucking consumes me sometimes. I absolutely balled my eyes out tears streaming down my face and just felt so much PAIN. I continued balling at home in my friends arms who was watching Alyssa, then some more after I dropped Alyssa. I took myself out for brunch, and wrote my little heart out on here. I was exhausted from the early start from Alyssa and the tears and emotions. A lovely lady came up to me at the café I was at and said she followed me on Instagram and said she just wanted to say that she hopes Dylans first day goes well and i’m ok etc it was so sweet and special, I was so exhausted and emotional I forgot to even ask her name though!
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to The Secret Life of Sarah to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.