I am simply choosing to LIVE because I get the privilege of doing so,

5/10/23

There’s a huge reason behind why I am a Mindset Coach, there’s a lifetime of my own experiences driving my passion for being my authentic self, and teaching others how to FULLY embrace their authentic selves, there is pain and trial and error and falling down and getting back up so.many.times behind my passion to speak about taboo, stigmatized and uncomfortable topics and life experiences. What I know best is my lived life, and how I have overcome every challenge that has been presented to me. Loosing my kids Dad and life Partner will be no different, but of course the most intensely painful so far, but also likely to be the most growth and lessons as well.

Our minds and our bodies are incredibly powerful. Here’s a question for you – on an average day, who do you think is in the drivers seat of your mind, therefore your day to day life? Your ego? Or your higher self - that which is aware of the ego? Chances are your ego is in the drivers seat more often than your higher self. You ruminate, hold grudges, get stuck in bad moods, self sabotage, have debilitating limiting beliefs of self, of life, you focus on all the shit that has and that you think probably will go wrong. You get jealous of others success, or so-called happiness, or feel hard done by, like you got the short end of the stick. You go forward a few steps, then fall back 10 and your ego goes “told you so, you’re a fucking failure bitch, you’re a mess, you cant do it”. You know, that shit?

There is a duality to that and you know it, and it is profoundly simple, yet one of the hardest things i’ve ever done (and continue to do because I am no Master – yet!). you can choose at any moment to change your mindset, to change how you think about something, you actually can. Here’s an example:

I’ve been in a mood all morning, shitty sleep, headache since I woke up, kids arguing from the get go, I feel meh, tired, heavy, blah and I feel sorry for myself because I have a headache and I HATE headaches.

I also HATE feeling like the above, heavy. Blah, in a mood, I hate it, it makes me feel down, depressed, miserable, unmotivated, uninspired, lazy blah blah blah

So, in this literal moment now I am choosing to shift my mind and mindset, i’m choosing to thrive and feel good, happy, energized, positive, optimistic, I choose to do fun things, move my body, love on myself, I choose to ignore the pain in my head because whining about it wont make it go away, I have to wait to sleep tonight so whining about being tired wont make it go away, but a simple change in my mindset, how I perceive myself, how I choose to show up can literally instantly shift how I feel, shift the stuck, stagnant, heavy energy in my body and mind and change my mood, I choose to laugh, be happy.

Before I choose to shift my mindset, I let myself wallow for awhile, I let myself FEEL how i’m feeling, but I am choosing not to dwell there going all groundhog day on it, i’m choosing not to let it ruin my mood for the whole fucking day cos how boring is that? I am the master of my life, I get to choose if I create my own suffering or happiness, and guess what I’ll choose?

Despite going through a brutal time, I am picking myself up, piece by piece, so now, the down, the depressed, the sad, the heavily grieving Sarah, slowly gets less and less focus, and the Sarah that wants to feel good, that wants to create a life I love, thrive, a happy life for the kids and I (while still grieving obviously), I can suffer less, and start to thrive more. Because I don’t want to feel defeated and weighed down by grief forever and I know Dan doesn’t want that for me either. The next step will be slowly, taking back my life, my body, my mind, choose how I show up, while also grieving and honouring my beautiful man, knowing if I appear happy and positive people might judge and think i’ve forgotten about him, oh no no no, not possible – ever. I am simply choosing to LIVE because I get the privilage of doing so, I won’t waste his short life by being a miserable mess, ill honour it by giving it all I have until its my time.

This also means taking ownership of things and people in my life that cause me any stress which is 100% not what I need right now, any issues arise and I need them solved right away as my nervous system is still far too fragile, so I spoke with the kids Carer and ensured we were all ok. I still need to decide if I put Dylan in a pre-school a few days a week for him to be around more kids his age and to get used to a busier more school like environment, or just keep him in homebased care until school. I’ve also decided that he is ready to start school in term one, as obviously my hand has been forced there, but on every level he is ready – the only one he may not be is the emotional level due to grief and a bit of separation anxiety, but there’s also 4 months to work on that, and I have to trust he will be ok, I don’t want to let my Mama feelings of worrying about my kids get in the way of them finding their own way, and I can always pull him out of school if for some reason it doesn’t work.

I am focusing on choosing each moment and being so deeply present my mind literally doesn’t have space to think about anything else. Mindfulness next level, mindset work next level, and if I can master those and get through the most insanely difficult time of my life, I can get through anything, cause guess what? Other people are going to die in my life too, other shit may happen, but I will have a solid foundation to cope, I know what has worked for this, what doesn’t, I know when to and how to ask for help and receive it. I’m not afraid to talk about how I feel.

Our mindset can be a powerful tool in how we live our life and whether we actually enjoy it or not, alongside intuition, instincts, self care, community, nature and nourishment, we can all thrive no matter what life throws at us!