For the sake of our kids, we must normalise talking about anything and everything that is involved in being a human
Honestly, grief is sooo fucked up and misunderstood. There’s different kinds of grief. The grief you feel when you miscarry (which I’ve done) vs loosing a Grandparent (also done) vs loosing your life Partner and Kids Dad (doing) is just…whoa. I’m about 6 weeks into this journey, and while the insanely heavy fog and just general heaviness I felt in my body the first month has lifted slightly, my brain is still a mess, I still get extremely overwhelmed and overstimulated super quick (kids fml), my memory is still munted, I can’t think properly, or get my words out and several times a day I still float between depressed, hopeful, positive, optimistic, sad, crying – literally all of the emotions.
I still am not able to fully accept that he’s gone forever and I will never physically touch him or hear his voice, or get to see where he took his business and get to see him raise his kids. It fucking guts me, like I cant even describe how much. He wanted to live, he had SO many plans to help people, to thrive in business, to travel, to marry me (hehe) and to be the best, most present Daddy possible. It’s still just so fucking raw and painful that it is very hard to accept and just be like, ok shit happens, I’ve moved on. It’s a process and a journey that I don’t have a blueprint for and it has to play out in real time – which I’m sharing with you. And sure, some may think that’s odd, but for me, it makes sense, because I speak to so many people about all the things I openly talk about that are still “taboo” “stigmatised” or just ignored and not spoken about because uncomfortable and don’t go there. Someone has to start the conversation. Someone has to share the real and raw and real time. So, why not me? For the sake of our kids, we must normalise talking about anything and everything that is involved in being a human – at the right time, in the right kind of wording of course. But we as adults and parents can always strive to learn different perspectives, educate ourselves, get more comfortable talking about the “hard” things that we ALL experience, so when our kids do, they have the tools, knowledge and awareness to handle it muuuuuuch better than us.
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