A Wave of Emotions

20/12/22

Its been an eventful few days. Friday we finally found out Dans full diagnosis. In simple, no medical terms – Stage 4 Bowel Cancer which has spread to his peritoneum. Yes, I thought it was perineum too, as id never heard of a peritoneum, but it is not his perineum, its his peritoneum which is a membrane type thing that covers all his organs and it seems to be in several spots dotted around his abdomen. So, not ideal, but also glad it’s not spread to anywhere else, like liver, lungs etc. When the Dr told us it hadn’t spread anywhere else I felt an uncontrollable wave of emotions and balled my eyes out, cos even though the diagnosis isn’t ideal, it still could have been worse. Then ensued the obviously push to get chemo, her dodging speaking about the many side effects, even admitting she’s never had a patient that’s had no side effects.
We put her off and she’s calling us in the new year, but we’ll have to put her off longer as we are trying to speak with holistic Drs to get different opinions, so Dan can make up his own mind, but given the time of year it’s difficult to get appointments, many businesses are closed etc.

We shared the news and it boosted the give a little funds a bit more which is great, as this once again is a long-term thing for us, we have no idea how long it will take to sort this to a point Dan is Cancer free – and then he will still need to lead an extremely healthy life forever to ensure it never returns.

Going into the hospital always feels doom and gloom and they always seem to put fear into me and push that the only way is chemo and/or surgery and still the prognosis isn’t good. As soon as we leave the hospital we feel instantly better and we continue to read books of Cancer survivors and thrivers, interact with real life people with cancer who are succeeding with holistic healing, and many that are already cancer free and have been for 1-32 years was the longest we’ve come across. That’s our focus, just like if you want a homebirth, you’d focus on all the beautiful, successful homebirths, not the ones that went wrong cos then you’d freak yourself out and set yourself up for failure. What and who you surround yourself with MATTERS.

Dans actually been in really good spirits, he’s just focused on what we CAN do, doing things HIS way and trusting he can get through this.

We still have A LOT of research to do to find the right holistic modalities for him, the right supplements for him and the right Holistic support team, perhaps once that’s settled I can THINK about returning to taking some 1-1 clients. We’ll see.

Dan is having surgery as I write this, a laparoscopy, they are putting a camera into his tummy to take a look at the cancer spots on his peritoneum – what they find will dictate whether they think hes a candidate for surgery or not. It’s kinda depressing in that respect, if they deem it too complicated to remove the cancer on his peritoneum then they’ll only offer chemo and give him a bleak outlook. Unsure if they would still do a surgery to remove the bowel tumour.  I am hoping that it is able to be surgically removed, as im sure the tumour is the main cause of his pain. I think Dan is keen for surgery then possibly unlikely to want chemo and radiation, instead focusing on his holistic health to ensure no cancer returns or if they are unable to remove it all to heal the remaining pieces. If he does have surgery it is complicated and will be a long recovery I’d expect. I will be doing 100% of the household stuff, kids etc he wont be able to move for awhile id say.

Anyway let’s not skip too far ahead. Day by day. I’m going to make some more calls then go get groceries and wait for Dan to text me to pick him up.