11/8/23
Ok. You want REAL shit here? You want the raw and the honest truth? This is the hardest shit ever. I literally lost my shit at the kids this morning, I yelled. I yelled A LOT. And I hated myself every second of it. I am just so fucking overwhelmed with feelings and emotions, I’m so grief stricken, i’m so ANGRY at the world, I’m so fucking lonely and overwhelmed that its me and only me all the time, only me to parent the kids 24/7, 365, no co-parenting days off – solo parenting ALL THE TIME. I could NOT control my (human) emotions and it just poured out of me. The relentless talking, the relentless arguing, fighting, whinging, the early wakeups, the constant tantrums and tears from said fighting or not getting their way, asking 400 times for them to do ONE simple thing. Day in and day out, with the most strung out nervous system I’ve ever had on the come down of 7 months of fucking hell and now in a new fresh hell.
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